When An Ego Slips, It Falls

This week we had two readings, an excerpt from The Myth of Sisyphus, and several pages of The Fall, both by Albert Camus.  The Myth of Sisyphus was quite entertaining if not a bit depressing relating the greek myth of the King Sisyphus to the absurd hero.  Sisyphus was condemned by Zeus to roll a boulder up a hill, but the boulder would inevitably fall back down and he would have to repeat this straining task.  Camus seems to insist that man is similar to Sisyphus in that we all live an absurd life of work, sleep, eat, bowel movement, that repeats and repeats until our inevitable death.  Now Camus claims that once man realizes his inevitable death, he has two options: Suicide or Revolt.  But revolt against what?  Our class discussion led me to the conclusion that the revolt is against the absurd.  Camus made an interesting point about how we are always looking forward to the next day in our life.  He says that one day when we hit 30 and realize that we are still looking forward to the future, we acknowledge our place in time.  Here I am at 22 years old and I can remember a time when I was younger wishing to be older and not much has really changed.  Surely things are not better than they were when I was younger, yet I imagined they would be.  Of course there are things to look forward to in the future, but I think the point is to enjoy your present life and take control of it, for one day you will die, and there’s no use in crying because you shattered the glass on your iphone.  That would be absurd.

Next, we had the fall, a story of a “judge-penitent” named Jean who speaks to the readers as if we were a ‘dear friend.‘  This man is not as he initially appears and is an interesting character.  He tells the story of how his life was a humble one in which he always did noble deeds for others selflessly.  But he later reveals that he has begins to understand that all his noble actions were indeed done for his self-image.  Jean’s generosity and self-image was fabricated.  His first realization of this was in the fact that he tipped his hat to a blind man after helping him cross the street.  As the blind man could not see him tipping his hat, our friend Jean was purely doing it for his own self image.  Every action was self-interested even though he led himself to believe it was sheer generosity.  This realization causes a drastic change in his life, and Jean becomes the opposite of the good natured man he once was.  He realizes he truly hated all those less fortunate people he had tried to help in his past life.

In many ways I related to this character. I’ve mentioned before in this blog that I am overly aware of my own ego.  Oftentimes I think of things I say or do and realize how self centered I am.  Even this blog is layered with the “I” in considering how I will be perceived by my peers who read this.  But is this necessarily a bad thing?  Our image is what we are, and I must remind myself of this.  It is our place in society, and I believe that without it, we are being inhuman.

Finally I would like to end with something I heard discussed in class.  I believe Thad mentioned that there is an important difference between the human animal and the animal.  Some might call it a blessing, but others could see it as a curse.  Is it our degree of self-awareness or is it the ability to think rationally?